Week 6: Protect- Teaching Body Safety
This week in our series Growing Safe Together, we are going to be talking about a very sensitive topic- body safety. Teaching body safety from an early age helps children recognize when something isn't right, respond appropriately, and tell a trusted adult. No matter where they are or who they are with, children need to know that their body belongs to them, they have the right to protect it, and they always have the right to speak up.
Teaching Children About Touches
Our community education program teaches the Play It Safe ® Program that was created by The Women’s Center of Tarrant County. This is a great resource for schools and families to help guide these difficult conversations.
When we teach body safety to younger children, specifically preschool through third grade, we teach it as the three types of touch- safe touch, unsafe touch, and confusing touch. In fourth grade, we continue to teach the three types of touch, but we add that both unsafe touches and confusing touches are called abuse. When the children get into fifth and sixth grade, we still teach them about the three types of touches, and explain that an unsafe touch is physical abuse and a confusing touch is sexual abuse.
Safe Touches
Safe touches help us feel safe, loved, and cared for. Examples of safe touches may include a hug, high five, fist bump, handshake, or being tucked into bed at night.
Unsafe Touches
Unsafe touches are touches that hurt our bodies. They may leave cuts, bruises, broken bones, or pain that lasts for a long time. Examples could be hitting, kicking, punching, pushing, or slapping.
When teaching about an unsafe touch (or physical abuse), it is also important for children to recognize the difference between appropriate discipline and abuse. We teach that spankings should only be on their bottom, and they should never leave bruises or cuts. For children in pre-k through 2nd grade, we will even demonstrate the difference on a doll to help them understand.
Confusing Touches
Confusing touches (sexual abuse) are often the hardest for children to recognize because they may not hurt physically. Instead, they leave a child feeling uncomfortable, confused, embarrassed, or "icky." A confusing touch is any time someone tries to touch, look at, or take pictures of a child's private parts without a good reason.
An important key to teaching about confusing touch is helping children understand their bodies. Parents should use the correct names for body parts whenever possible. Research has shown that children who know the proper names for their private parts are often able to communicate more clearly and confidently if they ever need to report inappropriate behavior. However, it is every parent’s right to decide how they want to discuss this with their children. When we teach this in schools, we explain that private parts are the areas of the body covered by a swimsuit.
It's equally important to teach children that there are times when someone may need to help with private areas. For younger children, this may include a parent helping with bathing or applying medicine. A doctor may also need to examine private areas during a medical visit—but only with a good reason and, whenever possible, with a trusted adult present.
Helping children understand the difference between appropriate care and inappropriate behavior gives them confidence without creating unnecessary fear.
Teaching Children How to Respond
Once we teach children about the three types of touches, we need to prepare them on how to react and respond. Teach kids the three safety rules- say no, get away, and most importantly, tell a trusted adult. These rules give children simple, memorable steps to follow when something feels wrong or unsafe. For a deeper explanation of the safety rules and practical ways to practice them with your child, please see our Week 2 blog post, Practice: Three Safety Rules Every Kid Should Know.
Sometimes when a child is touched with an unsafe or confusing touch, the person who did it will try to keep the child quiet by saying it is a secret. Children need to know that if someone tells them to keep a touch a secret, they should tell a trusted adult immediately. Secrets about touching or getting hurt are never okay to keep. Even if the person is an adult, someone they know, or even a family member, a secret about an unsafe or confusing touch is not a secret they should carry alone.
Children should also know that if someone threatens them or tells them they'll get in trouble for telling, it's even more important to speak up. Reassure your child often that they will never be in trouble for telling you the truth. Your job is to protect them, and they deserve to feel safe coming to you no matter what has happened. It is so important for your child to know that they have a voice and they have the right to use it.
Finally, when having this discussion with your children, always remind them of their worth. One of the most important messages your child can hear is this- nothing that someone else chooses to do to them can ever diminish their value.
Whether a child has experienced abuse in the past or faces difficult situations in the future, they are still worthy of love, protection, respect, and a happy, healthy life. Abuse never defines a child's identity, and it never takes away their worth. Children need to hear this message again and again.
Keep the Conversation Going
Like every other safety skill, body safety isn't a one-time conversation—it's an ongoing one. Review the three types of touch and practice the Three Safety Rules regularly. Before sleepovers, vacations, holidays, parties, family gatherings, or any situation where children may be around other adults or older children, take a few minutes to revisit these conversations.
Create an environment where your child knows they can come to you without fear of shame, disappointment, or judgment. If they tell you something difficult, remember that they came to you because they trust you. Listen before you react, thank them for telling you, and reassure them that you will help keep them safe.
These small, consistent discussions build confidence over time. The more children hear these messages, the more prepared they'll be to recognize unsafe situations, trust their instincts, and come to you when they need help.
Final Encouragement
Teaching body safety may feel intimidating, but you don't have to have the perfect words. What matters most is creating a home where these conversations are normal, age-appropriate, and ongoing. Every conversation you have helps build your child's confidence. Every time you remind them that their body belongs to them, that they have the right to say no, and that you'll always listen, you're strengthening their ability to protect themselves.
Our goal isn't to raise children who are afraid of the world. It's to raise children who are confident, informed, and know that they are deeply loved. When children understand that they have a voice, that trusted adults will believe them, and that their worth never changes, they're better equipped to navigate the world with both confidence and courage.
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The NETCAC provides educational information for families, schools, churches, and community groups across Northeast Texas. If you or your organization is interested in more information, or hosting an educational event, please contact Caitlin Graham at (903)629-7588.
